Life in Big D...

We got back earlier than what we originally planned, and I was excited about the fact that we would have more time to find a place to live and get settled in before I started back to teaching. Well, things didn't work according to my plan (kind of like the summer). Renee and I are still on the road, just traveling now around the DFW metroplex. I start back school three days from now, suitcase still in tow, school clothes still in storage. I have been on the computer for about three weeks now looking at all the available rent houses and apartments in the area. I inquired about several of them while still on the trip and got no word back. When we got back in town, I continued the search (the natural-born hunter and shopper that I am) and found about six places that would match up with our needs. I called about all of them and only one had an opening. We prayed, went and looked, and knew that it was not it. We have been praying and looking, and in the mean time, we have been meeting with people, Laura has been completing her course work that was left from the semester she was sick, I have been writing a Bible curriculum for school this year, and Renee has been doing rewrites on her thesis. Laura and her roommate Jaime have been gracious enough to invite us in their home to do a little community until we have a place. We stayed there awhile, went a few days to Renee's sister's house, and are back at Laura and Jaime's. We are learning this thing called "Waiting on God," and it sounds a lot easier in Church sermons, books, and in theoretical conversations than it seems to be in real life. Wow, what do you do when you are in the waiting pattern?

I am a doer, I feel good when I do...I feel in control and productive, purposeful, worthy and valuable when I do...I like to get a project in front of me and then work out the details necessary to do what needs to be done for the thing to be done, I like having a game plan for my doing...I like to do, I feel comfortable when I do, I feel successful when I do, I feel big and strong when I do, I like having something to show for all I do...I like tangible proof and evidence of my time and energy and what I did with it. I like getting things done and moving on to the next thing to do...

This summer, I have learned a lot about not doing, but being. I have learned about the value of just being present and available, not with an agenda in mind or a list of what needs to be done and checked off, but just being there, present, available. This is not an easy or fun lesson for such a doer, control addict such as myself. It was not what I had planned for my adventure. It was not what I foresaw happening. In fact, it was not something I had enough warning about to be able to pre-plan in my girl scout kind-of-way of how to deal with such a state. And I, being the rational grown-up that I am, found myself, mid-pout, internal temper-tantrum brewing.

I do distinctly remember telling God that I wanted this to be His trip done His way, but I thought that I had a better grasp and handle on what that might look like. Wow, I guess I forgot to really factor in my "limited perspective" (even though I had documented such things in our "How the project began" portion of our website). I am going to post this and leave you hanging for a moment (join the club) so that I can meet the ladies in our office on the second floor of the library for our second business meeting...I will pick up where I left off...God-willing...